News from Pausha’s Studio – May 2023

News from Pausha’s Studio – May 2023

When images emerge in my mind they demand to be realized. When I say “demand” I mean “demand”. They will bug me, nag me and give me no peace until I’ve created them with ink, or pencils, or a camera or what have you.Not only do I not have a choice when it comes to what gets created and whether or not it gets created, I have precious little choice when it comes to which medium I use.
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Some drawings must be black and white. Some require the sharp, crisp lines that only black ink can produce, others will consent to softer graphite. Some will concede to being black and white, others require color.

MU the Mindless Rabbit required color. It was born in my mind in full color, drowning with color, splashed and drenched in bright, happy, primary hues. Exactly the sort of hues I’ve never used and never worked with.

MU DIDN'T CARE

Having little choice in the matter, I embarked upon the journey of trying to find  medium I could work with that would allow me to to create what needed to be created without having to spend years learning a whole new discipline. I tried digital painting, it seemed an easy way to manage “paint”, with a stylus that is very much like a pencil that I’m used to. It worked great for a moment until I tried it for a few days and found myself missing drawing! Even though I draw-painted for hours each day.
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It turned out that drawing with a stylus on a digital screen feels just like having sex with a very thick condom must feel: all the movements are sort of there but you can’t feel anything. I found myself missing the touch of paper, missing the smell of graphite, missing the black stains all over my hands and clothes.

I tried watercolors next, using the technique I’ve worked with in the past: pen and ink drawings with watercolor wash over it. For a second there it seemed like it was just the thing, something I’ve already been familiar with, something I’d already developed, something that was mine, a signature look I might say, and it turned out that it was mine all right … but it wasn’t MU’s.

It was not the Rabbit’s, and the Rabbit just didn’t look like itself with black lines and pale, desaturated colors all over the place.


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Then at last came The Revelation: Colored Pencils! It seems like the ideal solution: lovely pencils, bright and juicy, full of color, perfectly familiar to someone who has drawn with pens and pencils already, perfectly comfortable to work with, no extra skills required.

I bought a set or two and got to work and discovered that while there was little to no learning curve in moving from black graphite pencils to colored pencils in terms of technique, there was a huge gaping hole where the understanding of color itself should be.

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It very quickly became apparent that working with color is not as simple as taking a black and white drawing and coloring it. I realized that I must understand what colors do, how they interact with light, how they interact with each other, how they interact with my eyes. This brought me to books on color theory, and the books on color theory brought me to paint.
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It took me a year of trying and testing various methods and mediums only to arrive at the inevitable conclusion that if I am to learn color and work with color, it must be paint.

Having accepted that fact, however grudgingly, I have embarked upon learning how to paint, and how to paint in full color.

Learning how to paint was to be my main focus this past month.

To this end I have:

  • Embarked upon creating a model for my color studies: a white rabbit mask which would change colors when illuminated by various colored lights.
  • The mask, though made from white paper, had to also be painted white, which made some sort of sense to me when I decided that.
  • I then spent another few days on buying, testing and returning various colored lights and light gels, before I arrived at one that will do the job.
  • Having decided to try acrylics I tried to paint, made a terrible mess of it, decided that acrylics won’t work and that oil paints might be a better choice for me.
  • That resulted in days of researching paints, brushes, tedious, canvas papers, buying appropriate palettes, waiting for a friend who offered to share some paints with me and was kind enough to take a few days to do so, so there was a good reason for waiting.
  • In the meantime I designed a t-shirt for my husband’s band featuring a name which they are about to abandon.
  • Then I designed another band t-shirt for a non-existent band that really should exist because the name is cool.
  • Then I began work on a logo for a band name that was being considered, though not settled on.
  • I also assisted Christopher in setting up the print shop for some of the Mindless photos and began to plan putting up some prints of my drawings for sale as well.
  • I also spent some time researching a concept for the next MU photo shoot, as well as scouting out the location a 3-hour round-trip drive away from my home.
  • And I continued to work on this preliminary sketch in preparation for making a large piece in colored pencils, because it will be a while before I can do anything worthwhile with paints and I do want to have some drawing going in the meantime…
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I fully intend this coming month to focus on learning how to paint….

Follow Pausha down the rabbit hole!

A compilation of ancient fables illustrated with pieces from my “A Bird in the Hand” drawing collection is now available for your perusal and, hopefully, enjoyment.

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